“The Pumping Irony of Life”

This one is not so important, you can skip it. If you want to continue, well, I think I’ll take that as a compliment. Take time to read and I hope you will not get yourself busted.

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The Introduction to my So-Called Life

Let me tell you something about myself. I’m just a piece of high school-dweller. My lungs are full of combustive air from factories, smoke-belching cars, and other source of suffocating pollutions which in time shall kill me. My stress-level, when ignited to its highest point, can cause me some dilemma or I’ll pass out for a minute. Give me a break and I’ll get my caffeine fix (that’s why I’m always palpitating). My idea of exercise is forcing myself to wake up from my unconsciousness, eat my breakfast and drink my coffee (I’m really getting some hard time with it). When I’m in a hurry and somebody is in front of and just roaming around, I will yell at that person and get his whole being out of my sight. That causes me to be irritated and I hate it when that happens. Then and then, when I get my consciousness back, I’m definitely ready for the urban.

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Life is undeniably full of pumping irony (I’m so annoyed by that fact!). Whether we want it or hate it, that will still pop out. I really hate it when something is really obvious and someone will still ask about it for the second time, worse, for the third or fourth time. Here’s one case. This day, there were so many ironic happenings in our school that I badly noticed. Andy (my classmate) shouted John (another classmate) of something.

“Hoy! Tawag ka ni Ma’am!” (Hey, John! Ma’am is calling you!)
“Ako?!” (Me?!)
“Hinde, Hinde ikaw! Yung upuan, kakausapin ni Ma’am yung upuan. Diyos ko po, mga tao nga naman!” (No, not you! The chair, Ma’am is going to speak with the chair. Omigosh, what a being!)

That person knew already that he was the one that was being called, but then, he was still making bobo of himself (making fool of himself, gosh!). Here’s another situation, when someone is being asked of something.

“Ano last name mo?” (What is your last name?)
“Pati po ba first name ko at middle initial?” (How about my first name and middle initial, do you also need it?)
“Ha? Ang tinanong ko lang naman eh yung last name mo, eh.” (Ha? I am just asking for your last name?)
“Ah! So, hindi ko na po kailangang sabihin yung first name ko? Last name lang.” (Ah! So you don’t need my first name anymore? Only my last name.)
“Pambihira! Humanap ka ng kausap mo, (bleep!).” (bleep! Just get out of my site, bleep!)

Omigosh! If suddenly I will see that person, I will yell at him and
say, “bleep! bleep! bleep! what a crap!“

There are just many things in life that I am trying to understand but I can hardly understand. These are some of the ironic facts about life:

1. Most of the people are schooled but very few are educated. Filipinos have a very big appreciation and value for education. Parents are doing all of the things they can do to send their children to school. That thing is enough for them, having a graduate for every family is an achievement. The thing that we don’t notice in here is that, most of us are going to school not for studying, but to have chit-chats with their classmates (chismisan, daldalan, awayan and alike, such a hideous acts!).
We are going to school not for those things but to make us as a better citizen and a person. The ones that appreciate the finer and nobler things in life.

2. When a person is just in front of you but then you shout at him or her as if that person is so far, far away. That one is so uneducated, but then, I cannot blame them for. Maybe, that is the kind of culture they encountered in their growing-up years. But then and then, it is not enough reason. Even if we are not able to enter the school, we must learn from the actuations of the educated (either schooled or not). That is just the reality of life.

3. Experience is the best teacher or It is better to learn from our mistakes, but it is better to learn from others’. Na-a-ah! Not really! Most of us are always committing the same mistake, same experience and same rejections. That’s a fact! The bad thing in here is that reiterating of experiences doesn’t really make us learn. We are just doing the same. We already know that these things will not make any better, but then we are still pursuing them. What a crazy attitude!

4. Magsisi po tayo ng kasalanan. Ang Diyos ay nag-babala na. Ang katapusan ay malapit na. (Repent from your sins. God is warning us. The end is near.) I hate that kind of situation especially inside the bus. I wanted to sleep inside the bus, taking a rest, maybe. Suddenly, those persons with long sleeves and below the knee skirts will go inside the bus, stand in front of me, and will say those statements, begging for us to repent from our sins. After that, they will pass a basket and will say, “Maaari po kayong makatulong upang makapagligtas tayo ng ibang buhay. Any amount will do. Ow, I’m sorry, we don’t have change for 20 bucks.” C’mon, God still loves me and save me even if I don’t give and take a nap. Having not enough sleep will kill me if a car run through me. God will not like it. Besides, God loves us, anyway!

Okay! I think I am going to need some break and have my coffee. These are just some of the ironic situation of life. Dwell on it or hate it, you are still part of it. Life is really twisted. Wait for more posts that will soon come (duh!). Just be happy with your life. Chow!

magseselos kaba kapag ung gf/bf mo ngaun may ugnayan pa sa x nya?

yup!
but i will ask her first before i react!

Ask me anything

which is better .. to love or to be loved

to love!

Ask me anything

“How Well Do You Know Me?”

Hey you, yes you, whoever you are. How well do you really know me? If you think that you already know me very well. Then, I am telling you, you are wrong. Nobody in this world really knows who I am.
Malamang nagtatanong ka na ngayon kung paano ko nasabi iyon. Nasabi ko na hindi mo pa ako kilala kasi sa iba’t ibang lugar na pinupuntahan ko ay iba-iba rin ang mga ugali na ipinapakita ko. Iba ako sa bahay, iba ako sa church, iba ako sa paaralan at sa iba pang lugar na aking napupuntahan.

Kapag ako’y nasa chuch, isa akong matinong bata. Matino talaga, matulungin, puro po at opo ang laman ng bibig. Ang sabi ng mga nakakakita sa akin kapag ako’y nasa lob ng church, masyado raw silang pinagpala para sa aking buhaydahil nagagamit ko ang talent ko sa paglilingkod. Hehe! Para kay Bro iyon e.

Kapag naman ako’y nasa paaralan, ako’y isang commoners o common student, ordinaryo. Isa akong maharot, madaldal, nakadikit sa mga brainiacs (yung mga super talino), nagsismula at nakiki-sama sa ingay, at nagpapaturo sa mga brainiacs ng mga assignment. Slightly naughty (parang maharot din yun?). Wala lang, talagang commoners lang “hindi matalino”.

“Ako” kapag nasa bahay. All I can say is “I am very different to any other anak”, tahimik lang ako at hindi masyadong nakapagsasalita, hindi nailalabas ang gustong sabihin kasi maraming hindrances. Hehe, tipid ko talaga.

Panghuli, kapag ako’y nasa iba’t ibang lugar. Kapag ako’y nakasalubong sa kalsada, hindi mo aakalaing ako iyon o ang kuya Joshua mo sa school. Kasi natatakpan ng head cap ang mukha ko, tahimik, smart to talk with at medyo nakakunot ang noo o nakasibangot. Tipid akong magsalita, hehe, basta iyon ang aking mga personality.



Ito na lang ang mensahe finale ko “Kung sa tingin mo’y kilala mo na ako, mag-isip-isip ka ka muna dahil nagkakamali ka. Buwahaha…!”

“The Big Question of My Present Life”

Pwede bang itago ko na lang muna ang other personality ko? Pwede bang tuluyan ko munang kalimutan, kahit sa sandaling panahon lang? Pwede bang pairalin ko sa buhay ko ang personality na gusto ko? Gusto lang maranasan ang pagiging ordinaryong youth sa society na ito.

Ordinaryong youth na walang iniintinding ministry, walang inaalalang responsibilidad, walang inaalalang mga tuturuan, at ordinaryong youth na gusto lamang ma-spend ang aking time sa mga kasiyahan sa world.

Kasiyahan sa mundo tulad ng mga, spending time with my classmates, do things that I want to do, make relationships, try everything, partying, lakwacha, “and so many more”.

“Showing the real me, making my life an absorber and a source of happiness.”

Gusto kong pairalin sa life ko ang personality na gusto ko. Masiyakin ng todo-todo, sigaw ng todo-todo, partying to the max, and taking my life to the next level.

Okay, didiretsuhin ko na, “ I don’t want to have anymore connections on my c-life. When I am outside the c, as much as possible I don’t want to be a c. Okay, sawa na kasi ako e. I am very exhausted and frustrated.

“I just wanted to be normal.
…just wanted to be me…”



Okay, wala nang paliwanagan pa. This is the end of my life. BANG!

“The Big Force Inside Of Me That Wants To Explode”

Madalas, kapag ako’y nag-iisa lamang sa isang lugar o ‘di kaya’y sa aking kuwarto, bigla-bigla na lang tumutulo ang luha mula sa aking mga mata. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ganoon, para bang may malakas na pwersa sa loob ko na gusting lumabas o sumabog, para bang gusto ko na lang na humagulgol at magwala sa aking kinatatayuan.

Masyadong maraming mga bagay akong naiisip. Nakaraang buhay, nakaraang ekspiryensya, mga pagsubok, mga paghihirap, mga kasiyahan at kung anu-ano pa. Siguro, kaya ako naiiyak kasi may mga bagay na bumabagabag sa aking kalooban at hinanakit sa mundo pero wala naman akong masabihan tungkol dito. Ikaw kaya, kaibigan, pakikinggan mo ba ako kapag nagsabi ako sa’yo tungkol sa mga bagay na iyon? Hinahangad ko iyon. Alam mo kasi, hindi ko alam kung paano isasaad sa kapirasong papel na ito ang lahat ng nasa saloob ko. Kaya, sa tingin ko, kapag may nasabihan ako ay maiibsan ng kaunti ang problema ko.

“Mahina ka! Sure ka, kaya mo?
You don’t have the guts to pursue your dreams!
He will not make it, trust me…”

Ilan laman ito sa mga salitang narinig ko at patuloy kong naririnig kahit na iwasan ko an mula sa mapanghusgang mga taong nakapaligid sa akin. Araw-araw ay umiipon ang mga salitang ito sa dibdib ko. Kahit anong oras ay maaari akong mapuno at bigla nalang akong sumabog. Kapag nangyari ito, hindi ko alam kung ako ang makakaya kong gawin.

Nagkaroon ng sandali sa buhay ko na nagalit ako, napuno ako. Hindi ko namamalayan, nagwala na pala ako at nakasakit na ako ng aking kapwa. Napakabigat para sa kalooban ko iyon, nagapi ako, natalo, iyak ako nang iyak dahil natalo, talagang hagulgol sa pagkatalo. Hindi ito dahil kung kanino, kundi ano. Nagpatalo ako sa isang bagay na kung saan ayaw na ayaw kong magpatalo. Alam niyo kung ano iyon, “GALIT”, nagpatalo ako sa galit ko. Nakasakit ako ng kapwa ko dahil sa matinding galit. Ikinuwento ko ang baga na ito sa Punong Guro ng aming paaralan.

=+=: Joshua, sige umiyak ka, hahayaan kitang umiyak.
+=+: Ma’am, hindi ko kaya ‘to, nagpatalo po ako sa galit ko, natalo ako.
=+=: Hindi masama ang ginawa mo. Tandaan mo na hindi tayo perpekto para tuluyang
mapigil ang galit natin. Kung ang Lord nga ‘di ba nagalit din, ganoon din tayo,
nagagalit. Pero tama ang ginawa mo na pigilan ang galit.
+=+: Salamat po.



Hindi lang kapwa ko ang nasasaktan ko kapag sumabog na ang nasa saloob, kundi pati rin sarili ko. May sandali ng buhay ko na nasa loob lang ako ng kuwarto ko at umiiyak. Biglang pumasok sa isipan ko na “Subukan ko kayang maglaslas ng pulso, minsan lang. Bakit si **** nagagawa iyon? Hindi naman namamatay. Kaya subukan ko lang, minsan lang.” Noong naisip ko iyon, agad-agad, bumili ako ng blade at bumalik sa aking kuwarto. Noong oras na iyon, ginawa ko na ang aking nasasa-isip. Habang tumutulo ang dugo mula aking kamay, para bang tumutulo rin kasabay nito ang mga problema ko, parta bang may tuwa akong nararamdaman. Hindi ko alam kung tama ba iyon.



Maraming mga bagay akong naunawaan matapos ang mga nangyari sa atin. Walang tao ang maaaring mabuhay ng mag-isa. Kailangan natin ng kaibigan, ng tunay na kaibigan. Napakatanga ko! Ang mga taong hinahanap ko ay nandyan lang pala sa paligid. Malamang patay na ako ngayon kapag hindi ko sila natagpuan. Basta!

Anger is not a bad thing, being angry is also not bad, and that is a natural sensation. The bad thing is when we don’t know how to control or place our anger, bad things will sure follow and we can get our life a big mess. Okay, I just have a message for all the people who are like me “Please! Don’t be a big f*****g sh*t, don’t be a big fool like me. Find someone to talk with about something. You know, I am really emotional about my life. Behind this happy face is another face of mine, meet sadness.

Kailan pa nagkaroon ng Kwenta ang Blog na Walang Kwenta?

Hehehe..! kailan pa nagkaroon ng kwenta ang blog na walang kwenta? Ito ba ay noong tinaggalan ito ng kwenta o 'di naman kaya'y binigyan ito ng walang kakwentahan. Ang gulo hano, naka-dudugo ng brain. May brain ba ako? Naku, lalo pang nakagulo.
Ako nga pala si Joshua na ang first name ay Joshua at last name ay Canlas, for short Joshua Canlas. Ano ba ang nasa name ko? Aba'y hindi ko alam, all I know is mula pa ng since birth ko e nandito na ako kasama ng name ko. Basta, pinapagulo ko lang buhay niyo e. Do you like to read more?
What if? What if lang ha. What if eh lumabas ako sa harap mo at this very moment.
Tapos, bigla kong sabihin sa'yo na. "May mamamatay, buwahahaha!" Hinde, biro lang, takot ka noh. Ang sasabihin ko talaga kung saka-sakali na makita mo ko e, "Ay! ba't ako nandito? BYEH, balik na ako sa computer, sige, tuloy mo lang ang basa mo. Bye..h!" Hehe! yun nga ang sasabihin ko sa'yo, bye na. Continue reading lang ha..!